Ford Excursion

This truck wrote itself into the douchebag hall of fame the moment it rolled off the assembly line.This SUV is for the guy who saw the Tahoe and said, “nope, not big enough.” Then he saw the Hummer H2 and said, “nope, not big enough.”Then he saw the Excursion, the largest SUV ever on the consumer market, and said to himself, “Well, my penis is pretty much the size of a button, but I guess this is gonna have to do. Yo, sales bro, do you know where I can find an 18-inch lift kit for this thing?”

Mazda Miata

Have you ever seen a guy driving a Mazda Miata and thought, “man, I wish that was me!”? Neither have I.Aside from the fact that this car screams “I’m fabulous!” from every angle, this car was made for the guy who wants to drive down the coast with his new scarf from Wal Mart flapping in the breeze. If you own a Miata you're one of three things: in the closest, a woman, or a douchebag.

Scion XB

Whoa, who wouldn’t want to drive a shoebox on roller skates?I mean, it’s awesome that you found a shirt to match the bright orange piping on your seats just in time for the Jimmy Buffett concert, but the other XB owners are still a little disappointed in your lack of stick-on tribal decals and neon lights. This thing was basically custom designed for douchebags